I do have a lot to write. But I don’t know where to start. I am not sure if it needs to be written. Do I have enough to say? Or is it all shallow thoughts. I am searching for clarity. What is clarity? Lack of obstruction!! Is it a seasonal break free form the routine? Has anything changes? Have I just been loaded with more information, which aids in building up the smog of ignorance instead of serving as a sword to cut through it!! When will wisdom break through? Am I being too greedy? Greedy for what? Knowledge maybe!! Is greed for knowledge a bad thing? I am not sure. Maybe it’s all a question of perspective as I keep telling myself. There is no good, no bad. Everything goes. Or does it?? I am not sure at all. I just want the journey to be interesting, at least. Leave the wisdom to the sages. When do I become one?? When I age!!! My pen hovered above this page for the last two minutes. I have a block- a writers block ha! Ha! Ha! Think of a writer having a block without even writing anything ever.

Life is the most amazing movies that never got filmed. The cameras are never around at those moments of inflection when the rules change in someones head. The rules have been changing for long in my head, but it seems like I am caught in a machine making it impossible to come out and I keep going round and round in an endless spiral that leads to nowhere.

I procrastinate. I dream of inheritance. Wisdom was and is something that never can be inherited. Money of course can be, but thanks to all my forefathers not being of the Bill Gates sort, it is left for me to pioneer. Oh! That seems too hard.

Action in Inaction. The power of understanding, the power of thoughts…I feel so powerless. When will I be pulled out of this seemingly endless dark tunnel. Boot strapping seems to be a way out, but then how do I proceed. Am I another Don Quixote or Baron Munchausen? Is it all talk and foolish adventures that assume significance in the stupidity of my own worthless perspective?

My mind seems to be like the sky. Thoughts come together to form different clouds of ideas, which dissipate after sometime. The leaky bucket seems to empty out often and then at times of great rain the bucket overflows. But then this seems to be a temporary phenomenon.

So many years have passed. So many lesson have been given to me. But what have I gathered. I fear I am wrong. I fear that a life might go by without anything meaningful accomplished. Evolution- Will it occur? Will light dawn? I wonder!!!